Therapeutic Suckiness

Josh listed some things that sucked about him and I enjoyed reading them.
Yesterday in Creative Writing, we did an exercise with only one rule: You started it out with the sentence, “There are certain things you need to know about me.”
This is a combination of copying Joshua Bruce Anderson and the list I made in Creative Writing yesterday.
And he’s right—it is therapeutic.

1. I hate going out.
2. Most of the time I go two or three weeks without eating a full serving of vegetables.
3. I judge people on how clean their clothes seem to be. (ie, if they’re wearing a pair of jeans for the second time since they’ve washed them)
4. When there’s a little dish of black olives on the dinner table before we start eating, I eat half the bowl before the prayer.
5. I’m on my fourth BYU ID.
7. I get up and turn the heat on after my roommate falls asleep because it’s so cold I can’t fall asleep.
8. I accidentally ran over an already-dead cat the other day on university and it scared the crap out of me, but then I started giggling. And then I teared up.
9. I have been on one date with an actual BYU student since I have been here. If you didn’t know, that’s seven months.
10. I have a half-circle of moles on my back and I feel like it’s there so my alien parents can come to claim me later. (adopted)
11. Showering more than twice a week is a hassle.
12. I don’t answer my phone. Really, unless I have known the person since birth.
13. The reason I never go dancing with everybody is because I’d rather scoop my entrails out through my bellybutton with a sharp instrument.
14. I have a hard time identifying with people who struggle with the exact same things I struggle with.
15. Much older men stare at me and I want to kick them in the crotch but I can’t do that in the middle of campus.
16. I am secretly infatuated with the biggest goof I know.
17. I have to return identical sentiments to anyone who expresses them, or just lie, which most often gets me in a lot of trouble.
18. I can’t concentrate on anything for more than five minutes unless I’ve gotten too much sleep.
19. I have no desire to cook anything, for anyone, ever. Hopefully this skill seeps into me before I have a family I am supposed to nourish.
20. The only thing I can really do well is spell.