Sassy Cookies

Last Thursday, I sat in a red faux leather booth with my friend Adam at Rice King on Center street in Provo. Rice King is a Chinese restaurant that has a $5 lunch special. It's ten times better than Demae, and that other Japanese place, and India Palace, and about equal to Los Hermanos and Ottavio's, so, you should go there. Adam and I go there sometimes, and the waiter is either Victor who doesn't even give us a menu or a HUGE football player from BYU who's like a giant golden Viking. He's so nice. So is Victor.
It was a gold day because the leaves were swirling down from the trees, and we ate delicious golden orange tofu, which Adam paid for, for which I am eternally grateful. We ate white rice with our tofu, and both had water. This is weird because customarily he orders rootbeer. With our water, crispy tofu, and white rice, we also ate a delicious vegetable dish that comes in the clear sauce that looks questionable (a little bit like snot or something) but tastes like a little piece of heaven. I'd never had it before and I fell a little bit in love with the baby corn and broccoli and carrot shards and lettuce. I don't like the mushrooms, though. Adam took the mushrooms.

We spent time at Rice King, and then we skipped up and down Center very vigorously for 45 minutes or so. That kind of skipping where you're jumping really high and the people outside of ABG's are all standing around with their cigarettes (at 4:00 PM) and staring at you. And the one homeless guy with fuzzy gray cornrows stares at you too and kind of hums happily to himself. I kissed my hand and smacked it onto the wall of ABG's as we passed by, just for some love.

We sang all of "Light My Candle" when we were west of University, and remarked about pink leaves on a bush east. We sat in some grass and almost went inside some scene-y cafe to sit on their squishy couch, but we didn't because Adam explained he felt bad using their couch when he wasn't buying any of their snacks. But the point of what I was going to tell you is back at Rice King. We sat there for a while and talked. That's what Adam and I do, is talk. Sometimes we are quiet too. Sometimes we sing. We used to sing a lot more.

We got our check at Rice King and I felt slightly embarrassed again that Adam was paying. I felt bad. I don't know why. But he's my friend and he is nice, and it was nice of him to pay. On the little black tray that the check comes on was our two fortune cookies. I did something I hadn't done before, I held them both out and said "pick one" so I would know which one was really mine. So Adam would have decided and I would know my destiny. You know, which paper fortune was actually Mine. The Fortune That God Had Chosen To Place In The Cookie That Adam Did Not Choose In Order To Start Me On The Rest Of My Life From After Thursday. It's not like I really believe that, but it's fun to pretend. And kind of believe it. Because a place that makes the most delicious tofu on EARTH could NOT MISLEAD me. They couldn't.

I don't know who makes fortune cookies these days. I noticed the wrapper was different than usual when I picked mine from Adam's palm.

Here is my fortune:

"Enjoy yourself while you can."

Here is Adam's fortune:

"Your legs must be tired, because you been running through someone's mind ALL day."

Are you being serious right now? You don't just throw either of those into some unsuspecting, slightly superstitious person's fortune cookie. Fortunes are supposed to say "Your plans will work out" or "Follow the business path you have been recently pursuing" or "how to say THE SUN IS SHINING in Chinese %***#@#@".

I mean, I guess Adam's was harmless. And very amusing, because it actually says "you been" and not "you have been". It is actually written in ghetto gangster speak. Mine, though? I guess death is in my near future. Or I will be officially Unenjoyableified and things will not be enjoyable anymore, very soon. I don't think that can happen. Regardless, I have since begun enjoying myself. And I like it.

I just wanted to tell you about that.

And that my death or Unenjoyification is imminent. Haha. Or something.