Lanee

This is my munchkin Lanee. There is an accent on one 'e' in her name but I don't want to figure out how to do that. I am going to tell you all about why I love my munchkin, my best friend, whose name is Lanee. (With An Accent.)

1. She wears the same pants size as me so whenever I buy a pair of designers we can endlessly argue about whose butt looks better in them.

2. She let me buy some cut-glass dishes from the 70s (SWEET) at DI for our new apartment, even though she secretly thinks we will get hepatitis and rabies and pregnant (simultaneously) from the germs on them.

3. She gets equally annoyed as me when people use the possessive form of "you're" (your) wrong.

4. She is an awful driver, but it is endearing. Even though it has several thousand times endangered my life.

5. She wants to cook in our new apartment. I do not. See how well this works out? Just kidding. But seriously.

6. We have really good co-host chemistry on our show. Watch it.

7. We're both so interested in our own opinions that we kind of just act like we're having a conversation with the other person and talk over each other about 80% of the time. Which works out perfectly, because then we get to listen to ourselves talk.

8. Lanee speaks Spanish.

9. Lanee knows the entire Cast of My Life by nickname, code name, real name, physical characteristics, and favorites, and will sit and listen to me sort them out any old time.

10. She is really really short and I am really really tall so when I wear five-inch heels and she wears flats we can act like we're in the circus and frighten people on campus/in restaurants.

11. She eats vegetables and healthy things and runs, and when you give her a plate of french fries, she has to eat the entire thing. And all of yours.

12. If I call her after she is asleep for more than five minutes at night, I get a cool mixture of some drunken grandmother from the deep South, a garbage disposal with a spoon stuck in it, and a strange, mosquito-like buzzing instead of English. But she always forgives me for waking her up (partially) the next morning.

13. She tries to feed me bites of her food at restaurants.

14. She usually gets noodles or chicken at restaurants. If she gets noodles I usually eat half of them.

15. Give her over 40 oz of Diet Coke in one setting and be ready for a good time.

16. She likes to sing Billy Joel really loud.

17. Lanee does a special finger-pointy dance which you adopt if you spend a lot of time with her.

18. She gives me wet wipes when my hands get sticky.

19. One time she got such a bad sunburn that her face turned yellow and had much pus, but it went away and didn't scar, Tom.

20. Lanee likes things to be clean so much that she brought her own cleaning supplies to the dorm so she didn't have to use the repulsive vinegar and useless windex substitute.

21. My roommate borrowed Lanee's Windex, never gave it back, and we seriously plotted killing her. Lanee thought about it way more than she will ever admit.

22. She is seriously Wanted by a bunch of guys right now!!! Woo-woo!

23. Lanee has shiny hair.

24. She always jokes about being my maid of honor but she totally is, for serious.

25. She made instant friends with Episcopalian, the plastic horse figurine that lives in my car. He's a great judge of character.