Are you ever just beginning to feel like you're as smart as everyone around you? And then, you get hit by a gigantic splintery piano falling from the sky and start feeling kind of useless again? Yesterday afternoon, I ran into one of my good childhood friends on campus, and we had a conversation about the old group and how everyone is doing. At first, I was so glad to see this friend! We laughed over embarrassing memories, and then laughed even more about the fact that whenever any of us see each other, we immediately start acting really immature and pulling our hair and spinning around in circles and laughing way too loud. The conversation progressed to where everyone is and what they're doing, what schools we're all at, who we're dating, then back to how immature we all still are. Then, after I talked about who I was dating, and how busy I was, my friend dropped this line.
"I know, right? I mean...what are you even doing in college? Especially at BYU?"
"(Laugh)...yeah...I know! What am I even doing here?"
[THINKING: WHY DID I JUST AGREE WITH THAT?]
The funny thing is, if this line had come from someone I didn't know very well, or hadn't known for very long, I wouldn't have had a second thought about it. I probably would have even defended myself. But because it was someone I have known since I was about 9, someone who I feel knows ME, I did a brief overview of my life on the way back to my car. I had to make sure I wasn't stupid. Luckily, I and myself came to the conclusion that, while I might be a little crazy, I'm not completely senseless. I was coherent enough to at least get into this university. I can carry on a conversation about something other than Me, Boys, Everyone I Hate, and Ice Cream, contrary to popular belief. I can read. I can drive a car. I can talk on the phone, tie my shoes, check my e-mail, juggle, and pick my nose at the same time. I can dress myself. I can floss, even if it takes more than five minutes. I can do a headstand.
THE FACT THAT I'M USUALLY FUN DOES NOT MEAN I AM STUPID.
I felt normal again after a couple hours. But really, next time you see me, tell me I'm smart enough to be in college. Please. Or at least ask me to do a headstand.