Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Thoughts on being Stinky Sweet

Do you know what I decided? I was talking with my like-minded friend the other day about the best stages of a relationship, the most telling ones, the points at which you know you're comfortable. The one we talked about was when you and your significant other can talk, or not talk, and it doesn't matter. You can be driving in the car together, eating together, walking together, and not have the need for a constant stream of witty dialogue between you. When this happens, you know Something is Happening.

As far as these comfortability stages go, I figured out what the best one happens to be. It's when you can kiss without putting gum in your mouth anymore. Or right after you wake up in the morning. I can't say that I've always made serious attempts at checking the rankness of my mouth before kissing people, but for those of you who are always trying to nonchalantly slide those minty slices smoothly between your lips when you can feel a smooch or two coming on, discontinuance of breath regulation is a significant part of your story.
After I ended a very close relationship of a year and a half, I was shocked to find that I had become very accustomed to and comfortable with a certain person's breath. Their bad breath, their I've-just-brushed-my-teeth-but-I-ate-something-gross-right-before-that-
and-you-can-still-kind-of-taste-it breath, their sweet breath, their morning breath, their I-love-you-but-I'm-too-tired-to-make-out-with-you breath, their burp breath, their about-to-cry breath, their sick breath, their mad breath, etc.
Everyone likes to have sweet-smelling breath when they kiss, but I am here today to tell you that the best thing about a relationship is when you can give someone a big, spitty smack right after eating stinky Indian food or Carl's Jr. or a hot dog with relish and not have to worry about breathing curry or hamburger or pig products into their mouth. Because
  • A, you like each other, not just each other's breath, so
  • B, they wouldn't mind doing it to you, and
  • C, they don't mind you doing it to them, either.
It's quite beautiful, really.

11 comments:

Lanee said...

ew. Also, I've seen that photo before, engagement pics right?

-emily- said...

cheers.

thanks for pimping my blog, ps.

Allie said...

Oh, Julie. I wish more people had your wisdom.

Michelle said...

Ohhhh we don't do that!!! Ew Ew EWWW! First of all any and all breath that is hot, smelly, acidy, or rank in any way can have no place on my face or anywhere near it! I don't care how much you love them! I'm no sayin mine is the creme de menth at all time, but I can tell you I can't handle kissing anyone with rankness, and or having them breath their hot stuffy stinky nostril breath anywhere near my breathing space! BLURK!!! And further more, slobbery kisses are a big NO for me. If I have to swipe after a smooch there is far too much liquid involved. Sick-o-rama!! So...I am going for the gum chewing, mouth rinsing, flossing, brushing the fur off along with brushing vigorously of the tongue as to remove that white filmy crap off those little buds and gettin on with the passion! I rest my case! Loves ya Jules!

Michelle said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Casey T. said...

ha what an indepth take on the human psyche...or something that makes me sound less like a deuche

Anonymous said...

Dang I miss garlic bread-fetuccini alfredo(mixed with cheetos),breath julie more than I have in almost two years.

JULIE said...

that's right you do. whoever you are.

Kelsey said...

haha funny story about this and I totally know you are just dying to know. I ate a salad once and it had very strong onions in it. Well, AJ came up to kiss me so I kissed him. And then we kept kissing for a few seconds longer. haha then he started coughing and asked if I'd eaten a whole onion. I'm pretty sure I almost killed the poor kid. Kind of embarrassing, but totally funny. Anyway... like I said, you were DYING to know :)

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
aly said...

i think i am going to continue to hold off on that whole kissing thing... this didn't sound so appealing. i get where you are coming from, but gross :)