As far as these comfortability stages go, I figured out what the best one happens to be. It's when you can kiss without putting gum in your mouth anymore. Or right after you wake up in the morning. I can't say that I've always made serious attempts at checking the rankness of my mouth before kissing people, but for those of you who are always trying to nonchalantly slide those minty slices smoothly between your lips when you can feel a smooch or two coming on, discontinuance of breath regulation is a significant part of your story.
After I ended a very close relationship of a year and a half, I was shocked to find that I had become very accustomed to and comfortable with a certain person's breath. Their bad breath, their I've-just-brushed-my-teeth-but-I-ate-something-gross-right-before-that-
and-you-can-still-kind-of-taste-it breath, their sweet breath, their morning breath, their I-love-you-but-I'm-too-tired-to-make-out-with-you breath, their burp breath, their about-to-cry breath, their sick breath, their mad breath, etc.
Everyone likes to have sweet-smelling breath when they kiss, but I am here today to tell you that the best thing about a relationship is when you can give someone a big, spitty smack right after eating stinky Indian food or Carl's Jr. or a hot dog with relish and not have to worry about breathing curry or hamburger or pig products into their mouth. Because
- A, you like each other, not just each other's breath, so
- B, they wouldn't mind doing it to you, and
- C, they don't mind you doing it to them, either.